Several families in New England who have adopted from Ethiopia got together on Saturday. It’s such fun to see the kids together, some of them were at the orphanages at the same time. We met another Dawit! The kids had great time, and we got to chat with the adults about ongoing adjustments.
There we met another boy exactly the same age as Dawit, and they were at the orphanage at the same time. They don’t remember each other, but they do have several similar memories of the place. This little guy and his family are having a very difficult time. As the dad put it: “we are the poster family for reactive attachment disorder“ They have been home for almost 2 years, and this little guy is in therapy once a week, but they are all struggling. I knew that older children available for adoption could be at risk for this disorder, but I never worried about it with Dawit. Now that I’ve done some reading, I’m confident that he doesn’t have any attachment issues.
It was enlightening to share perceptions and realizations with other parents of older kids who have been home for awhile. It was interesting to me to learn that I was not the only one who figured out much of what I saw in Ethiopia months after our return to the States. Our own filters can bend reality in a way that we can process at the time.
Another family began sponsorship of their adoptive son’s cousins in Ethiopia. So far, it has been a good experience. We met several kids who were sponsored while we visited, and it is clear the impact $400 a year makes on these families.
That’s interesting… What do you mean that you figured out much of what you saw in Ethiopia months after you returned? Do you mean that parents understand certain personality traits or behavior only after they’ve gotten to know their kids better?
I would be interested to hear more about that family’s experience with RAD — what types of behaviors or difficulties are they facing?
We are also hoping to sponsor two of our sons’ birth relatives. In addition to helping out the family, we hope it will be a way to keep in contact with one another.
Let me know when the next get-together is, we can be in NE easily!
PS would you be interested in doing an anti-racist parent meme? I was tagged and did it a week or so ago and need to tag someone else — it’s an interesting one!
Miss Mayhem–I’m happy to answer your questions…in another post. Can’t think that much tonight. 😉
Erin–I’ve never been tagged before, I’ll play!
And tell you more about what I know about this family’s experience with RAD.